Let's really talk about this season called breast cancer. When I found out that it was going to be part of my life's journey, I remember feeling like I was in a daze. Like, I knew what was going on around me and I could hear my family and friends talking, but I felt like I was standing still and everything moved in a blur all around me. And it felt that way for a while. I don't know how your journey went, but this is how mine went. I found out November 1st that I had two different forms of breast cancer and on November 22nd, I had my radical bilateral mastectomy. I had 20 days to prepare for this major life-altering surgery. Yes, 20 days, because I had 1 day to cry and process and 1 day to do all of the pre-op stuff. So in those 20 days, what did I do? I started preparing my body, mind, spirit and house. What I didn't do, was get on the internet and over research everything. That is the most dangerous thing you can ever do! Your story is not someone else's and your story is not their story. We can have similar things in our story, but they are individualized. We can learn from others, but we have to do what is best for our own personal bodies. So for me, I began to amp up my vitamin and mineral intake. I began doing things to boost my immune system, so my body would fight off infection and illnesses while I was healing. I also dug deeper into God's Word for strength and comfort. And I began to prepare meals for my family so while I was healing they would still have meals ready for them. I moved furniture around to better accommodate me during recovery. I will add here, that the recliner will be your best friend during this time. I was hard headed and thought I would be way more comfortable in my bed. I even bought a wedge pillow. Note- Do NOT waste your money on this item! Buy some extra pillows and prop yourself up while in bed. The recliner keeps you in a more comfortable position. If you don't have one, then invest in a few different pillows going from firm to soft so you are able to be in a reclined position in bed. I made sure the house was clean and my husband had all of the usernames and passwords to all of our bills and accounts and the bill due dates. I also bought some new yarn, since my doctor told me that knitting was an approved activity during recovery. I found a couple of books to read, downloaded some music to listen to while I was resting and I recorded some easy to watch movies. Let me give you a piece of advice here on the movie content. Stick with Hallmark and comedies. I recorded this really cool movie, that I had never seen, but it had a tough chic in it, and I wanted to see it. I was 2 weeks post op and got 10 minutes into the movie, when I realized, one, my pain meds were NOT going to let me concentrate the way I needed to, and two, it was so intense that my body tensed and I suddenly felt pain! So unless action movies make you relax, don't watch those just yet. I also used essential oils in my diffuser. I used siberian fir and a blend called Holiday Joy for my aromatherapy. I also put my Christmas trees up and decorated a little bit for Christmas. I am so glad I did that prior to surgery, because if I hadn't it wouldn't have been put up to my liking after surgery. So think a few weeks ahead as you prepare. If you have birthdays and holidays coming up, go ahead and shop for them and be ready, because I can promise you, that you may not feel as good as you think you will later. Don't be lazy, but know, that there will be days that you need to chill out! The most important thing you must do during the first 6 weeks is take care of YOU! You can do some "normal" things like go to the bathroom and eat and walk, but lifting, pulling, stretching beyond your physical therapy limits are major "no- no's"!! I am a busy wife and mom, so this was very challenging for me. Being still, is not how I generally live. But this season forced me to be still. (for a little while, at least)
I wish I could tell you when the moments of grieving will hit you, but I can't. They come and go as they want. They will come at very strange moments and without warning. I think of myself as a strong woman, and I put my trust in God first, but I am human and while I may make jokes about being flat chested there have been times when something was said, not to me, but just around me, and it was a trigger of sadness. It might be a song that takes you back to a memory of a time of intimacy with your spouse. It might be a shirt that no longer looks the same on you, with or without reconstruction. But the two mistakes you don't want to make is one, not grieve the moment. Grief is the loss of something or someone. Don't ever forget that. And this is the loss of your fleshly being. It is NOT the loss of who you are, just the what you have been. So grieve that moment. The second mistake you don't want to make is staying in the grieving moment too long. Grieve it and move on. I have met several women who are still grieving over things that they need to move on from. This saying that no one can tell you how long you can grieve is true, but don't be upset when no one wants to be around your constant misery. Life is going to be hard, and it is going to hurt, but you can NOT stay in the misery and expect to live a happy life! I have gone through a lot of grief in my life. I lost my sister when she was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. And it was sudden. She went to the doctor on Monday and was in heaven on Wednesday. That same year I lost my granny on Christmas Eve. I lost 2 more grandparents before I was 18 years old. I lost my first marriage to divorce. I lost my last 2 grandparents shortly after that. I went through a scary time of illness with my youngest daughter, who the doctors said was gravely ill and there was nothing they could do for her except wait to see what her body would do, and now I have lost my breasts to cancer. So I understand some loss. But what I have not done is stayed in my grief too long. And let me just say this, in the New Testament of the Bible, when Jesus heard that John the Baptist had been killed, the scripture says Jesus went to a deserted place to be alone. But the crowds followed Him and so He came back out of the deserted place and began teaching them again and it is there that we learn of the feeding of the 5,000 with only 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread. Jesus grieved but He didn't stay there! He knew there was work still left to be done. And the same is true of you and I and this season called breast cancer. It is a season, and we have work still left to be done. While you are recovering, rest and heal spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally. Because when you are through that season, there is a new season beginning. I think about my season like this. My cancer came during the fall of the year, when everything is dying, just like the tissue in my breasts. And as I have healed during this dead and dry season, I now look outside to the new buds on the trees because spring is coming! A new season is coming. A season of new growth and beauty. Let your seasons change!! Find your purpose in this new season and grow in it. Find other women who have been on your journey and learn from them and then help the ones who are just finding out about this season called breast cancer.
You are a Warrior and Fighter!!
Never Quit!!